What the hell is wrong with you people?

It mystifies me that I have to plead for the life of the funniest show on television, but why WHY WHY is there talk of cancelling "Arrested Development?" Those of you who have not seen this show (I'm talking to you, faithful reader) and are dropping your IQ's by watching "Yes, Dear" and "According to Jim" are missing out on the most brilliant show since "Sports Night," or perhaps even "Cheers." Do you not like to laugh?

Look, there's some fine stuff on TV nowadays. "Scrubs" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" are great, "South Park" and "Chappelle's Show" are cutting edge, and you can still find good reruns of the "Simpsons" every once in a while (although they really need to stop showing anything after season 9, because it's diluting the quality of the reruns and is mimicing the tired impression left by the new shows). I'm even a booster of the Americanized "The Office," which is brilliantly cast and performed. But PEOPLE PLEASE don't let "Arrested Development" disappear.

Remember many years ago when an equally brilliant (though markedly different) show called "Police Squad" aired four times before being cancelled? At the time I heard it was cancelled because it was "too funny" for the viewers. Are you going to take that insult again, America? Are you going to reward the networks for treating you like an idiot? Do you seriously laugh at "Joey"?????????

I beg you, for your own sanity and for the good of Western Civilization, to do any or all of the following:
1) Go to Amazon or Best Buy or wherever you buy DVD's and get the first season of "Arrested Development" right now. Seriously. Go ahead, leave this page, I don't care, but go and order it. You can come back. The blog will still be here.
2) When you're done with that, go to www.getarrested.com and sign the petition to keep the show. And send the link to all of your friends and ask them to do the same.
3) Most importantly, I need you to stop doing whatever useless activity you're doing on Sunday nights while this show is on and WATCH IT. Are you changing a diaper at that time? It can wait. Are you feeding the poor? I didn't think so. Are you drinking heavily? Me too, but you can do both at the same time. Or buy a god damn Tivo (which you should have anyway, you neanderthal) and record it.

OK, I'm selfish, and want more of these shows, but I'm also trying to help you, the discerning viewer, and make you happy. I promise you'll thank me later. And your children will love you more. And you'll live longer. And that rash will go away. I promise.