Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Happy Mother's D'oh

So I've spent the last week being a complete dickweed. A brief catalog of my festival of stupidity includes:

1) Buying a present for my sister's graduation (which was Sunday) and neglecting to mail it (it was still on the counter when I left for work this morning)
2) Forgetting Mother's Day until the last minute when my wife saved my ass and sent flowers
3) The kicker: neglecting to recognize my wife, who is expecting our first child in six weeks, as a "mother" and buying her a present, card, or even a bagel.

The last one was a bit pathetic in retrospect, although in my defense I don't consider myself a "father" yet, since my current parenting requirements are limited to pausing Tivo for 20 seconds to pretend to feel the baby kick. Still, as we're walking through Soho on Sunday and people are going out of their way to wish my wife a Happy Mother's Day I felt like jack-ass of the year.

Philosophically, was I wrong? I think the case is good. From a "you love this person, live with her, are her best friend, and at a bare minimum need to use your brain for more than just basic motor-skills" perspective, I suck ass. I got some heat for it, too, since I have a long-running history of neglecting the "little" things (which consequently become "big" things) because I'm too distracted with
God of War or The Amazing Race (Go Ramber!)

Anyway, let this be a warning to all you expectant father's out there. If you even think you might be expecting next year, go buy a discount Mother's Day card right now, just so you have it. You can thank your Uncle CroutonBoy for saving your nuts.

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