Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Happy Mother's D'oh

So I've spent the last week being a complete dickweed. A brief catalog of my festival of stupidity includes:

1) Buying a present for my sister's graduation (which was Sunday) and neglecting to mail it (it was still on the counter when I left for work this morning)
2) Forgetting Mother's Day until the last minute when my wife saved my ass and sent flowers
3) The kicker: neglecting to recognize my wife, who is expecting our first child in six weeks, as a "mother" and buying her a present, card, or even a bagel.

The last one was a bit pathetic in retrospect, although in my defense I don't consider myself a "father" yet, since my current parenting requirements are limited to pausing Tivo for 20 seconds to pretend to feel the baby kick. Still, as we're walking through Soho on Sunday and people are going out of their way to wish my wife a Happy Mother's Day I felt like jack-ass of the year.

Philosophically, was I wrong? I think the case is good. From a "you love this person, live with her, are her best friend, and at a bare minimum need to use your brain for more than just basic motor-skills" perspective, I suck ass. I got some heat for it, too, since I have a long-running history of neglecting the "little" things (which consequently become "big" things) because I'm too distracted with
God of War or The Amazing Race (Go Ramber!)

Anyway, let this be a warning to all you expectant father's out there. If you even think you might be expecting next year, go buy a discount Mother's Day card right now, just so you have it. You can thank your Uncle CroutonBoy for saving your nuts.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Technically Retarded

I was going to write today about Mother's Day, or possibly my pending fatherhood (which inspires more terror than anything else right now). I'm sure I'll come back to those, but I couldn't help but notice my previous post and the delightfully vacant square where Ted McGinley was supposed to be. And I just had to lament.

I wonder how many people out there are like me in that they THOUGHT they knew how technology worked, or perhaps they once did, but struggle with some of these basic internet things which the average 8 year old can do. When did I get lapped? I used to be worshipped in my office because I could hook up a printer and fix people's e-mail settings. But this HTMHell crap is killing me.

Granted, this doesn't compare to the time my mother called me because she had erased the main menu on Windows 3.1. I didn't know you could do that, but I was wrong. (When they ask "are you sure you want to delete this?" ALWAYS stop to see if you're sure...that's why they ask the question, people) Blissful ignorance of technology is one thing, but to be somewhat versed in the subject (or worse, to actually work in the field as I do) and still leave ghost photos on your blog is pretty pathetic.

Anyway, if you have any stories of your own pending senility please feel free to share. Or if you're some hot-shot who wants to show and old thirtysomething a thing or two about blogs feel free to comment as well, although you're only allowed three sentences of abuse before you go on auto-delete. Assuming I still know how to do that.